I Had a Thought! I Lost It.
How Our Words Make Sense (or Not)
Raise your hand if you know what I'm talking about here:
You are in a wide-ranging conversation with one or more friends sitting in the rockers on the back porch (the good ol' days, yep). You expound on some weighty arcane subject of interest.
In your mind's eye you see ahead that there will be three tracks of thought to come together to make your point. You have a wordless model somehow in your head--a bifurcating outline that, once completed, will masterfully express your case.
You lay the groundwork for your argument to stick the landing. But then at last, when you come back to the intended intent or claim your erudite factoids were laid out to support, The Point has left the building.
"I told that story for a reason. I'll circle back. Wait for it." I say sheepishly with some embarrassment, the sting made less painful by the fact that my buddies (mostly age peers in their 70s or older) have been there before, and will be again, maybe even before we leave the porch (or the pub or coffee shop.) But hey. Really: Are we losing it?
And the answer is: Maybe. But probably not, if this is all you have falling apart in the motor speech and reasoning departments. (I will tell you about a couple of other derailments in a near-future post.) There are many ways that what comes out of your mouth might make you wish you'd kept it shut in the first place.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME?
Plain and simple, when this happens to me (all too regularly) I have just temporarily lost sight of where I was heading with my three points.
The language-logic pitfall for me is just simply failing to keep the destination of my talking points in mind until the intended conclusion.
In my own defense, while suffering some mild frustration and embarrassment while lost in the weeds, I do more often than not come round to complete the circle.
I am determined to not let myself off the hook, and sometimes it is long after my conversation partners have left the building that I have the AHA! of connecting the dots as I had intended. And I am convinced that there are skills to be built leading more reliably to the RECOVERY of the purpose of my points.
But (before I lose focus here and start talking about lichens or tardigrades ) my point is: I think, even at this late-ish stage in life, we can become more intentional in the process of ATTENTION-AWARENESS early in the conversation and complete the loop more often.
Success in this area will also help with the “why did I come in here after all?” when you stand there, foolishly vacant of your intended purpose.
From decades of use of memory methods, I do a decent job of keeping up with THINGS, often by creating an exaggerated story about them. That's a common tactic and it works.
"See me putting the car title into the glove box. The document is printed on a enormous model of the car that is flame orange." Silly but helpful.
But I am less disciplined to turn my focus and attention on ideas or thoughts I don't want to lose before I use them to make a point. Idea visualization and thought construction while speaking might also benefit from memory discipline.
I'll let you know how it goes. Or just ask my friends. The won't hesitate to tell on me. If they can remember.
NOTE: As a mercy to readers, I divided this topic in two. I’ll have more related comments on the topic on Sunday—in an unheard-of two posts in a single week.
Lmao you are officially suffering from what we around here call mommy-brain. It happens when we are honestly trying to think of too many things at once. Also usually when also trying to juggle the car keys, library books, forgotten lunches, and the dry laundry all on one hip as we go up the stairs. Here’s a trick: hold out one finger for each thing you must remember. Look at the fingers and say brief versions of the things to yourself as you hold each one out. Then as you say the thing (or do the thing) when you mean to, close that finger back into your fist/hand/paw. It really works.
Wise words.